Anais Nin: You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.

3.02.2008

Second Chances

Am I really the woman whose worth is determined by the number of second chances she gives to herself? her lovers? her friends, family and mistakes? 

A mistake is a second chance at reinventing yourself. It is a second chance at trusting your humanity. It is forgiveness of the highest caliber.
~Raven Martin

If you know me as a person, then I really, before this moment, never wanted nor considered giving anyone a second chance. I've done it for myself plenty of times. I've forgiven myself for making mistakes that shouldn't have been done. And I've also punished myself for failing at something and have resulted to trying it again, against my will, because there was no other way to resolve the problem. As much as I say I'm really hard on myself, I really forgive myself a lot as well. I am more forgiving of myself than other people most of the time, which is a fact-of-life for everyone. (Or at least at some point in their life) 

However,  forgiving other people is something that should be done because you know that you cannot control that person and their humanity, that is to say the fact that they are human beings - prone to error.
 
It took me a long time to figure this out.  I never wanted to give anyone a second chance before because I really have never liked the idea of someone hurting me and then giving them a second chance, what? So they can do it again? 

Now, I've weighed my options. I've come to a point in my life when I've realized that SOME, not all, deserve second chances. Some people do not live lives destined to fail into a heap of rubbish. Some people are the product of mistakes, inevitable occurrences that define our entire life's worth-depending on how we deal with it. 

 Who do you trust with your limited supply of second chances?

That decision is best for you to decide on, reader. Me, I've decided to consider giving my ex a second chance, only because I feel like there were a lot of things that we could work on without abandoning what we had. I also think that I was part of the reason why we had communication issues. (Talk about changing yourself for the better...

But as I start to think about what that second chance includes, a greater question arrests all thoughts of  the future,  what if that person's life is better off without mine in the mix of their everyday burdens?...

Expect me to elaborate with in the next post... for now, Think about who deserves a Second Chance in your life and who doesn't.

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