Anais Nin: You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.


Matador Blog Post #2

This is the latest post from my Matador blog...

Count to Ten
By RavenIsACage... | Location: United States | 01/16/09

"There are faces, there are smiles, so many teeth, too many arms and legs

And eyes and flashing buttons all around me

I'm a-watching, I'm a-breathing, I'm a-pushing, I'm a wishing

That these walls would not be talking quite so loudly

I have lost it once before I've pulled myself up from the floor

And I am looking for a reason to stay standing

But sometimes it's just too much or not enough or something else

It's so much bigger than my head, it's too demanding...

...I'm gonna close my eyes

And count to ten

I'm gonna close my eyes

And when I open them again

Everything will make sense to me then....

                  ---Lyrics from the song "Count to Ten" by Tina Dico

Lately, things have been crumbling and falling all around me. Hopes have failed, expectations have withered away with the beginning of a new year. We are at a constant state of "crawling out" of our lives. On every level there is a constant shift to crawl out of the holes we are living in. (Yes, the country is in a hole.) I feel like I have been knocked down by so many chaotic events and it is only the first month of the new year, the first week of classes in a new semester in college and the first year of my quest to find the other parts of myself....OH DEAR.....

To read the rest, go here..



Sex is on everyone's minds.... EVERYWHERE, ALL-THE-TIME

I spoke to Ms. Innovative about this topic because she loves, as she puts it "To F**."
What about sex do you enjoy?
Okay.... See there's two OR three parts I enjoy and it depends on who I'm with at that particular time. First reason, I like to do this with all ma n***z I'm with, cos I like to fu** with their heads - you know like when you riding them and you stop and you start squeezing your muscles and you looking at em. You know that song by plies...I cant remember which one.....but he like all he can say is "OooO" you know what I'm talkin bout
Second, My ass gets sick of masturbating........ Yeah I said it!!!! "I MASTURBATE" and yeah I get sick of it!!
Third reason I like to f*** is cos' If I'm in love with the person, its a good way to express how I feel about you and, you know there can be a whole 'nother connection, that's when it stops being f**ing and you start making love.
And lastly shit its just plain fun and not to mention, you lose calories!

Ok so, what's your favorite position?
Again it depends. now if were in those slow love making type moods, missionary all the way.
now, if if were f***ing then i like it from the back and if I feel like being in charge, I'm in top all day!!!

Worst thing to say during sex...

The worst thing a ni** said during sex is "I love you....."

{I give her a look}
See, don't give me that look now, the reason why it was the worst thing to say during sex was because he didn't love me! We were just f***ing!!!!

But, so what if it turned him on to say I love you kinda like um..." Bitch ooh this feels good doesn't it?!"

What u mean so like if he's talking to me dirty?

Well if thats the case then he's going to be shit out of luck!!!

You're mean!!!

Any last remarks about sex?
Why you're done? I had more questions and answers n shit


(Thinks for a second) Be safe and smart......(thinks).... and think before you act......cos you'll end up like me... have someone taking you back to their place for a one night stand and you'll f*** around and leave your favorite thong... and he will start stalking your ass...

{I give her another look}
(She gives me one back)... yeah... it's happened.



So, today's ILike is about something everyone can agree on....


Why is music so important to you?
If I could eat music I would. When I hear a nice track its like an auditory orgasm in my ear. Its like Sierra Mist for the brain.

Who is your absolute favorite artist of all time?
Jimi wait can I renege on my answer? {Laughs} No...wait.....[Thinks]......Yeah Hendrix

Do you always have this much trouble with figuring out who your favorite artist is? Do you always tell everyone the same artist?

{Laughs} So, Once again who is your favorite artist of all time?
{Laughs} Red Hot Chili Peppers

Why  do you think that happens?
Because "Californication" was the first CD i bought. I got it from a Circuit City on 8 Mile Rd. and Kelly.

No, why do you change the artist so much?
I don't know. Good Question.

Ok, so im going to say a trip or an  experience and youre going to attribute it to the appropriate song.
Yay! An association quiz......An audible inkblot test!!!!!


Driving down the street
Uh...Jesus Music by Lecrae

You're at the very top of the tallest hill on the biggest rollercoaster in the park
Rollercoaster of Love by RHCP

The anticipation of going to a concert(when your'e sitting there waiting for the band to start)
[Random Song] by [Enter Artist Here]

Going out to eat with friends
We're going to be friends by White Stripes

Making out with someone
Dont Look Back- Telepopmusik.........I don't Know, it depends...cos if I'm drunk then it might be Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge {Laughs}



There are edges of me that
must be cut away.
Parts of my existence are
frayed, the rest is suffering.
I don't want to have to break
and break
and break tiny parts 
of my multi-dimensional 
So, I have to shed some skin,
trim the edges,
or what - have - you. 
In order to save the parts of 
me I need 
right now.

Sensuality.....Paying Tribute to one of The Ten Queens

It is time I  really payed tribute to this woman who has really changed the world with her presence. She recently died on Christmas Day. 
I found out a short time after and was sad to hear it. 
So this post is dedicated to her in her memory...

Rest In Peace Eartha Kitt (1927-2008)
The Queen Of Voice




Christian Louboutin at ShopStyle
Looks like a sexy bitch, don't it?