Anais Nin: You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.

1.28.2009

Matador Blog Post #2

This is the latest post from my Matador blog...

Count to Ten
By RavenIsACage... | Location: United States | 01/16/09


"There are faces, there are smiles, so many teeth, too many arms and legs

And eyes and flashing buttons all around me

I'm a-watching, I'm a-breathing, I'm a-pushing, I'm a wishing

That these walls would not be talking quite so loudly

I have lost it once before I've pulled myself up from the floor

And I am looking for a reason to stay standing

But sometimes it's just too much or not enough or something else

It's so much bigger than my head, it's too demanding...

...I'm gonna close my eyes

And count to ten

I'm gonna close my eyes

And when I open them again

Everything will make sense to me then....


                  ---Lyrics from the song "Count to Ten" by Tina Dico

Lately, things have been crumbling and falling all around me. Hopes have failed, expectations have withered away with the beginning of a new year. We are at a constant state of "crawling out" of our lives. On every level there is a constant shift to crawl out of the holes we are living in. (Yes, the country is in a hole.) I feel like I have been knocked down by so many chaotic events and it is only the first month of the new year, the first week of classes in a new semester in college and the first year of my quest to find the other parts of myself....OH DEAR.....


To read the rest, go here..

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