Anais Nin: You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.

7.30.2009

I guess im hibernating...

You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.

~Anais Nin


I guess I've been hibernating. It makes a lot of sense, because I DO feel restless for a lot of reasons. But considering this revelation, how am I supposed to be awakened? Has this happened to you? Have you been awakened?

7.28.2009

What I'm Wearing....hopefully (Part 1)

middle-post update

The Apartment came first.
I hastily secured an off-campus one bedroom apartment for a VERY affordable price. Now, I won't have to worry about those damned dorm rooms and having to worry about someone else's pubic hair on the shower floor, who used the last of the toilet paper, horrible, horrible cafeteria food my parents paid WAYYY too much food for it to be wasted and to be as disgusting as it is, and loud neighbors who always! reliably start having loud, obnoxious sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend at the same exact 3-hour interval every night and then start to fight into the wee hours of the morning.

But because I have this apartment, will I be able to take my trip to NYC? Apartments cost money. So does traveling. Damn......



WILL "The DJ" be able to go to NYC at the end of August?

OR will a monkey wrench be thrown into what could turn out to be the best thing that's happened to her all summer?

What will happen to her and the new chapter in her life a she prepares to move into her new apartment?



The answer to all of these questions and more when you tune in next time to:
What I'm Wearing..... Hopefully

!!!!PART 2!!!!

7.25.2009

D.A.M. Magazine ~ July




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7.24.2009

What I'm Wearing....hopefully

So D.A.M. Magazine (You know, the magazine I write for?) is throwing a fashion show in August in Times Square...Yes, that mean's this place

Le Facade, D.A.M. Magazine's fashion show, will feature designs by fashion designers, Sohung Designs and ODP Couture. Yours truly has had the pleasure of interviewing them personally. Sooooo... since I'm currently the fashion section's feature writer, It would be nice of me to come since I've never actually met the people I've been writing for these past (Nov..dec..jan...feb....) eight months.

Did You Know?.....DJ CagedBird has never been to New York.

WHAAAAT?!!!!

::Looks Around::
shhhh!!

I know! I know! Don't get your panties all in a bunch!!

No, I've never been. Although, sometimes, I think that's why I didn't get that coveted mark. College Program Internship position. I mean my interview was virtually flawless except for when I gave her the " 'Oh No She Didn't!' Forbidden Answer" to the Top Most Sacred of Fashionista Questions: Have you ever been to New York?

My answer: "Uh...well no I haven't.....b-b-but I am VERY GOOD with directions and getting around the city will most definitely not be a problem." (It wasn't exactly a lie.)

Enough of your judgemental eyes! Anyway I am going to need to grace the big apple with my presence in top form and fabulosity, which means I will need to go shopping. And no, not a regular, "I don't know what I'm looking for" shopping trip. It has to be THE SHOPPING TRIP TO TOP ALL SHOPPING TRIPS.
[Epic music starts to play]
[Birds start to fly off]

My dad suggested that I arrive a few days early to go shopping which is a smart idea, but I need money. Another thing is, where am I going to get this money? I live in the WORST STATE in the country. I have been trying to find a job for the past 4 years. I absolutely HATE depending on other people for money, which is why my main goal for the trip was for it to be funded entirely from my own hard earned money( Which you bet your sweet ass I was going to bust my butt for)... But it seems the heavens have something on the contrary planned for me as my tireless efforts to find a job have been trounced by constant reporting of the national unemployment rate which is currently 9.4%, and in Michigan the current rate is 12.9%. You tell me the chance that I will be able to find a job.

Don't even get me started on my search for an apartment, which comes a mighty close ass second to the job search goal.

Anyways....

I need to start thinking about what I'm going to wear to the fashion show. Recently, I've been looking through the pages of fashion magazines and fashion books to compose a set of ideal looks I want to incorporate into my wardrobe. Most of these clothes will be new. Some of them will follow trends. Others may not.

That also means I will need to find some money to buy these clothes. ::sigh:: amid frantically searching for a new apartment.

You know...
It's times like this when people tell me I'm trying to do too much. I just ignore those people. I have too much living to do in life.

This concludes Part One of this four part blog post.

Coming Soon to (hopefully) an Apple Computer near you:

Can DJ_CagedBird resolve all of her problems before her anticipated trip to N.Y.C.? Or will all of her hopes and wished be trounced?

Which will she find first? An Apartment or A Job?



Will she be able to pull it off?


Catch the answer to these questions and more when you tune in next time to
"What I'm Wearing... hopefully"

7.20.2009

What I'm Wearing.....

(image via boysandclothes.com)
...when i get the proper funds to purchase these "WORK IT BITCH" boots.... you will see what a real DIVA is....for only $825..

Giuseppe Zanotti had me in mind when these were crafted.

7.19.2009

A Lot of what I want to say...

|One|

I listened to my horoscope on Comcast On Demand this afternoon.

Susan Miller(Click on the name to read what I was told)told me that this upcoming week was going to be big for moving, family and real estate - which is what I was looking for.

I've been looking for one since I started packing up my things to move out of the funky ass Towers Residential Suites in May.

Lord KNOWS I wasn't going to move back into that triflin' shit they call a dorm. So I decided to look for something I've always wanted to look for.

I need a space where I can just think, create, love, cook, walk around naked in and live in. I need a sanctuary.

I needed something to motivate me, which is why I looked up my horoscope. And for once, it worked. Thank the heavens...

|TWO|

Why is it that when I need a job, MILLIONS of other people are looking for them too?

PLEASE DONT GET ME WRONG. I am in no way selfish, or self-centered, and I do realize there are other people in this country - but why?

Maybe I am just at the tail-end of my patience. Or could it be the fact that I am just loosing hope. Maybe It's a combination of the two. It could be something else. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.

But I'm REALLY loosing patience. I think it's because I can't stand the fact everything is not looking BRIGHTER.

I think I am falling underneath the weight of all the things I have placed on my shoulders. I think that I am really stressed and worried. I have so few days left to do what I want.

|Three|

I need something to set me back in the middle.

I don't know what that is.

A friend of mine suggested that It be sex....but then theres something keeping me from doing that. I'd love to. I just have an obstacle in the way.

Then she suggested a drunken night of story telling with the girls. I truly liked that idea...so I said "Yeah..."
But then she said "But is that something you really want to do?"
I felt like she peered right into the looking-glass that was my being and saw that I knew it wouldn't do anything for me. That I would be unsatisfied. That it would be very empty fun. So I said no, I really didn't want to.

She suggested that I go out and find someone...which wasn't exactly stupid as far as ideas go.
I just knew it wasn't possible for me to find the release im looking for in a relationship.

I thought back to this conversation and came to this question:

Realizing the quote that I have imprinted in my soul, "The real voyage to discovery lies not in the discovery of new landscapes, but in having new eyes." (Proust),

How exactly does one gain new eyes?