Anais Nin: You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.


Sh!# I Heard That Made Me Mad

O.K. So "THE DJ" had a couple of career goals which included getting the proper training to be a bartender, learning 2 more languages, and getting a very useful Michigan cosmetology license.

But much for that shit...

...An increasing number of full-time workers are enrolling in cosmetology programs to serve as a back-up plan in the uncertain economy or to gain skills for a second career to bring in additional income.
According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates for growth in the field during the next several years, it seems like a smart option for some people — between 2006 and 2016, the personal appearance field will grow an estimated 14 percent. Cosmetology does have its costs, though: the average tuition is $6,000 to $10,000, with some schools charging up to $20,000, and starting out as a stylist is hardly a simple endeavor....
Source: Getty
See..why is it that everything I've been wanting to do, everything i've been preparing my waking hours for, everything I've been busting my ass for, is becoming so trendy for other people?

First, it was The Devil Wears Prada movie. I was really excited because I'd read the book already and couldn't wait to see the editrix that was Miranda Priestly in real life. But I was also saddened because I knew that the movie would glamorize a position I was intended to compete for. The position I am spending over $9k a year in an expensive ass school that I hate! to prepare for. WHY?!!

Then to make matters worse, all of these fucking spin-off shows, Stylista(FASHION EDITORIAL POSITION), "Blush: The Search for the Next Great Make-Up Artist"(MAKE-UP),"The Shot (PHOTOGRAPHY) and even the ever-so popular America's Next Top Model glamorize the industry I am trying to pursue.

Nothing I am doing is original. I need to figure out how I can be original, because this whole - I'm choosing opportunities that everyone is about to become or is already interested in/going to school for - is not working. I am not the typ e of person that follows. I don't follow trends. I don't follow. I lead. I create. I am unique.

Maybe I just need to find something else....

I feel like early pirates when they realized that their need to be free was being eclipsed by the closing in of the corners of the map, No longer square like people prophesized. The forbidden and unknown areas of the world being filled in on the then recent (15th-16th century) wall maps of conquistadors and world trading companies.

what am i supposed to do?

Don't think for one second that, "Oh! You will be fine." Or "Oh! There's opportunity out there!"

This isn't medicine, where jobs are ALWAYS NEEDED no matter what level. this isn't mechanical engineering or environmental studies or gaming technology. i'm talking about shit i'm actually interested in. shit that comes naturally for me.

Then the realization that I am not alone sinks in...

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